The Non PC Joke Thread

Tadhg Gaelach

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My misses is a kind of modern woman in her own way, and she sat me down and said we are a modern couple, and we have to share all our responsibilities. So I said – Seems the Swedish childminder is in trouble, and she blames us.
 

Tadhg Gaelach

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The only people driving carefully near national schools are paedophiles – and that’s only because they’re driving one handed.
 

Tadhg Gaelach

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What do you give a man who has everything - A women who'll spend it all.
 

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Hillbilly family goes to an astronomy exhibition. Daughter shouts out, Hey Dad, I can see Uranus! That’s nothing, says the son, I can see Mars.
 

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Whatja doing Grandpa – jerkin off? No, son, just jerkin.
 

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A reformed prostitute is giving testimony for the Salvation Army while beating on a big bass drum. Once I laid in the arms of men. White men, black men, Chinaman – Now I lay in the arms of Jesus. That’s right misses, shouts an old drunk, fuck em all.
 

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When will ruthless dictators learn that you can’t silence the people with terror – only reality TV and talent shows can do that.
 

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I do feel sorry for Ann Frank. First she gets her diary published without her permission – every girl’s worst nightmare. Then she doesn’t make any money out of it – every Jew’s worst nightmare.
 

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What do you say to a thin American – How’s the chemo going?
 

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It seems 60% of Americans suffer from obesity. The other 40% don’t mind being fat bastards.
 
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Tadhg Gaelach

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A man goes to the doctor to get his test results. The doctor tell him: I’m not going to beat about the bush – you have AIDS. The man is devastated – What can I do? Well, eat one head of cabbage, twenty unpeeled carrots drenched in chilli sauce, fifty walnuts, and a box of shredded wheat, and wash it down with a gallon of prune juice. And will that cure me? No, but it will give you a better understanding of what your arse is for.
 
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