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Self Moderated Coronavirus black humour thread...

2pacs

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radioledger

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Covid-19 : The Rules

1. Basically, you can't leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.

2. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one, it can save you, it is useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well.

3. Stores are closed, except those that are open.

4. You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same applies to doctors, you should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not too sick.

5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.

6. Gloves won't help, but they can still help.

7. Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it's important to GO OUT.

8. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes.

9. The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.

10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there…

11. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. Oh, good grief!

12. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand and it's better not to go out, well, but no…

13. It's better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at very wrong when you get some fresh air, and most importantly, you don't go to parks or walk. But don’t sit down, except that you can do that now if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too old).

14. You can't go to retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly and bring food and medication.

15. If you are sick, you can't go out, but you can go to the pharmacy.

16. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn't wear masks or gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated outside for 3 hours. Pizza too?

17. Every disturbing article or disturbing interview starts with " I don't want to trigger panic, but…"

18. You can't see your older mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.

19. You can walk around with a friend but not with your family if they don't live under the same roof.

20. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.

21. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn't say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily.

22. The virus stays in the air - well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further, maybe.

23. We count the number of deaths but we don't know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were "almost dead" to find out if that's what they will die of…

24. We have no treatment, except that there may be one that apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case with all medications). Orange man bad.

25. We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, so when it circulates… but we must no longer be locked up for that?
 

missy

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Covid-19 : The Rules

2. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one, it can save you, it is useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well.
Masks are most definitely not useless.
What people don't understand is the fact that it doesn't protect the wearer, but those they are in contact with - i.e. it helps prevent the wearer from transmitting disease through spit, cough or sneezing etc.

Indeed, masks are probably what helped the likes of South Korea keep their numbers down.

I'd hazard a guess and say if there wasn't a shortage of masks, they would be mandatory.

Same goes for gloves.
 
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GodsDog

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Masks are most definitely not useless.
What people don't understand is the fact that it doesn't protect the wearer, but those they are in contact with - i.e. it helps prevent the wearer from transmitting disease through spit, cough or sneezing etc.

Indeed, masks are probably what helped the likes of South Korea keep their numbers down.

I'd hazard a guess and say if there wasn't a shortage of masks, they would be mandatory.

Same goes for gloves.
So what's the point in medical personnel who presumably do NOT have the virus wearing a mask then?

Yet they all do, without exception. And the media continually talk about how important it is for frontline medical staff have protective PPE
to keep them from getting the virus as without them we are screwed.

The fact is the virus is transmitted through aerosol droplets. These tiny droplets can hang around in the air for long periods depending on air currents, etc. You can breathe them in if you are unlucky. Masks prevent these droplets in the air from getting into the nasal tract so of course they help.
Anything that blocks droplets is better than nothing at all. But put them on right and don't mess with them while on except to put them in some disinfectant and water after use.

There are useful videos on how to make your own masks.
 

missy

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So what's the point in medical personnel who presumably do NOT have the virus wearing a mask then?
Up to 25% of people with the virus show no symptoms.


So your immediate presumption that medical personnel pesumably do NOT have the virus is the worst mistake to make.
Example: That muppet of a basketball player who touched all the microphones because he didn't have it ... except he did !



Furthermore, if I tested negative yesterday, it doesn't mean I'm negative today.
Many of the tests can produce false negatives.
Conventional diagnostic tests for the novel coronavirus may give false-negative results about 30% of the time

Also healthcare workers could actually be negative one day and pick it up the next, as they work in high-risk environments.

The key to fighting this virus is always assume you have it and act accordingly.
 
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